Frayed Ends (SUICIDE short movie)

this is a short movie we've been workin on for 3 months.. please take the time 2 check it out

http://www.frayed-ends.com



please let ud know wat you think

Hey man,

First off....welcome to the forums!

Second off....great little film! Was a very interesting watch, as there's not much dark animation out there right now.

The lighting was done very well, very atmospheric, very nice work with the flourescent light at the side of the room (reminds me of the film I'm currently working on )

The animation was good for the most part, but there were some parts where it was pretty stiff. A good example is when he opens his hand full of pills. His fingers just snap into place, and it looks unifinished. The facial expressions were all really nice though. You put some good work into the eyes.

The story was ok....here are some comments:

a) Personally, I found it hard to empathize for the character because of his emo look. He had the tight jeans, what I'm assuming was some type of band shirt, spiked black hair and makeup on his eyes. Thus, instead of feeling sorry for the character or trying to figure out why he's trying to kill himself, you just think "oh it's just another self-hurting emo"

Just my opinion, but I would have liked to maybe see a different type of character going through those feelings. Please note that this is an artistic critique and not a technical one Your character's model looks really cool.

b) I liked the buildup to the ending...but I think the ending came too far out of left field. You didn't allude to anything regarding the train at the end in the rest of the film, so it sorta just pops out of the blue and remains unexplained. Also....having no arms at the end was a little strange...but I'm guess it was a result of being hit by the train? I thought maybe you could read into it a little further and guess that maybe he cut off his own arms so that he couldn't use them to attempt anymore suicides. It's too ambiguous to really get anything out of it though.

Anywho...great stuff overall! *Plugged*

Hey man, I agree with Tyson it's great seeing some dark stuff in here!

The lighting and texturing was fantastic, the atmosphere was great!

I thought the facial animation was great, especially the eyes. However, I was really turned off by the body animation, and actually the whole body design and rigging as well. It was very stiff and unnatural looking, and some of his poses were just odd.

Also like Tyson I was a little confused by the ending. It just didn't make sense to me, personally.

Also I got bored pretty quickly and had to scrub through it, but that might just be because I'm at work and should be getting stuff done.

Hey man,
Welcome to the SimplyCG forum.
Pretty cool lil film you got there. Nice models and stuff, but I dont get the story. I know for some people suicide is a pretty touchy subject so kinda have to watch the story, saying that though I didnt get the ending so dont know what to think. Be good to see you put more work up around here and enter some comps. Hope ya stick around.

wow I love it.. the style, the concept and the story
Quiete unusual style for a 3d animation, but i like it

Ok animation is sometimes a bit stff, but it fit well with the style.... Maybe a light/athmosphere change to the last scene should had been intersting to underline the story..

(btw guys, it's not a linear storytelling, but it's quiete simple to undestand : this guy dream of suicide, but can't because he haven't any arms anymore .. he can't take pills, take a gun or a rope, so he dreams that an imaginary train kills him in his chamber..and then he wake up )
I hope i'm not wrong lol

redtrain> Make a real difference between his dreams and his reel world, it's the only think you can maybe improve... As you can see, everyone don't get the story at the first view, need just few adjustement

Btw, welcome here mate

Wow !! What an atmosphere! ... But ... it's because he's without arms that he thinks about suicide? The train ?n the photo is related with the train "kills" him?


however ... great again!

Great guys
lighting texturing rigging the overall are just great
but may be at the middle i felt boring

are you guys from robicon
i know wajdy a friend of mine told me about him Rami Al fuqaha'a the Animator

because there is no great demos in jordan and this is the best i saw from a jordanian group i'll give you 5*