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Gallery + Critique
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3D Still + Animation
lipsync (WIP)
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23 Oct 2008started this lipsync Monday night trying to finish it to put on my reel, critiques needed and welcomed!
(12MB)
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Claymation 600 posts23 Oct 2008Looks pretty good! You're obviously going for a realistic, subtle style here, but I think you went too subtle. I just don't see much emotion, much thought going on inside these characters heads. They just seem kind of dead. Like two actors sitting at a table rehearsing their lines, not really acting, just reciting.
So basically, it's technically good, but the acting choices need to be stronger I think. Not over the top crazy or anything, just more expressive.
Keep it up! -
23 Oct 2008hey jake, welcome to the forum. I agree very much with clay's comments; less subtle definitely. for two days work its not bad, just needs much more exaggeration(not cartoony but you know what I mean hopefully). also, more eye movement would help the emotions get across I think. the lipsync at the end looks great, but the lack of motion everywhere else is really off-putting.
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23 Oct 2008Hi jake!
Looks like a good start. I also agree with Ben and Clays advice. It does require more acting.
Here's a little acting tip:
++ Order of Operations ++
*Thinking leads to conclusions
*Those conclusions provoke emotions
*Those emotions result into actions
"The mind is the pilot"
Disney
other notes...
With the OTS shot in the beginning don't forget to add some subtle motion with the girl,
nothing too big or it'll steal your shot. -
23 Oct 2008I agree with above. But I would work on the flappyness of the mouth movements. Sometimes you can get a more realistic effect of you glass over some of the letters. I would also make sure the closed mouth on the Ms and Bs are a little more noticeable, but that may be a personal preference
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23 Oct 2008Haha neat
Won't comment on animation since that's been covered pretty well so far in this thread....but.....the BIGGEST thing is that you broke the 180 degree rule with your camera 
....since we're facing the guy over her left shoulder, it's extremely awkward that on her closeup we are now sitting on her left. Imagine you are a camera man filming that scene....in order to film the second shot after filming the first, you'd have to walk all the way around the table and start filming on the other side.
So....the camera in the closeup on her face should be facing her from her right....I've included an illustration to help -
23 Oct 2008that's a pretty darn good illustration there, T.
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Claymation 600 posts23 Oct 2008I would say that illustration is probably the greatest piece of art I'll see all day long.
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RWilson 199 posts24 Oct 2008 -
24 Oct 2008
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24 Oct 2008
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24 Oct 2008
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24 Oct 2008
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rrateme95 262 posts26 Oct 2008 -
27 Oct 2008So I started to rework some things, here's a little update.
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27 Oct 2008looking good jake. one thing i noticed about the girl is when she goes "but..." i think her eyes should look over to screen left for a second then come back. the timing on the eyes seems good but the movement just seems a bit linear, too up-and-down.
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mahmoudnahmad 1,159 posts30 Oct 2008great stuff maybe a bit more body movement and some reaction to the other person spoken to. -
02 Nov 2008looks cool to me....nice work.
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